River Park, Sunday 21 June, 2026
We had never played the Weekenders before, but the origins of the fixture already have a mythic-sounding quality. The story goes something like this: our Benno’s wife Emma was in a play in London and she was in the loo when she overheard one of the other actors talking about how her husband liked cricket and one conversation led to another and now, here theWeekenders were, on tour from London, stepping out onto the hallowed turf of River Park.
It was one of those days when June feels like how the hottest day of August used to feel, when the air has a strange, radiant quality and the grass feels almost greasy underfoot, and the cumulus clouds drift indifferently overhead without offeringeven a thought of shade. Perfect for cricket, especially when you win the toss and elect to bat first.
With a new fixture, you never know quite what to expect from the opposition. At first sight, their bowling did not look fierce, but it was canny, and the wickets we lost were almost all to excellent catches. (It was unfortunate that we had lent them Shep, who is as good in the slips as he is in the outfield.) The Pope (7) and the Skipper (5) were both caught behind, and caught rather brilliantly. The President (23) was batting with style and intent, and well on his way to a big score when he too fell to a catch. Then OC (12) was caught and bowled – another excellent catch, off a mighty straight drive. Then Bardy (5) let through a slow banana of a ball.
Things were looking mildly precarious at 76 for 5. Enter Benno (78 not out). Enter G (31). Theirs was a patient yet commanding performance, and the runs inexorably, fluently, skilfully mounted until, at the end of our two hours’ allotted time, we reached a definitely defensible total of 176. Time for tea (kindly served up by the Bardettes) in the blissfully air-conditioned pavilion.
When you open the bowling with Farmer Chris (0 for 24 off 5) and Pope Leo (1 for 18 off 4), you expect early wickets. These are not all-out pacemen, but they are masters of shape and length, and they do slice through a batsman, rather. The Weekenders’ scorebook somehow scrambled Leo’s name, calling him “The Hope”, which seemed an appropriate nickname, given that he took out the opening bat with the fourth ball of his first over. But then things changed. The runs mounted, and hope began to dwindle. Poor Benno, already sun-baked after his long spell with the bat, seemed to attract the ball like a magnet, and it must have been the fourth or fifth time that he had to go down to stop one when it looked as if he might not get back up. “He went down like a sack of potatoes that last time”, the Skipper chortled – adding, “and a sack of potatoes can be a very useful thing”.
Further wickets failed to fall, and it seemed to get even hotterout there, despite the sun declining towards where HydeAbbey used to stand. The Skipper now brought on the spinners. Skip (0 for 23 off 4) served up his guileful off-spin from the pavilion end. Rupe (4 for 26 off 6) – or rather, “88”, according to the Weekenders’ scorebook – worked his batter-baffling wrist action from the astro end. The mood of the match now shifted subtly. The batsmen, who had beengrowing dangerously fluent, developed a newfound caution. One further wicket fell: Rupe taking out one of the openers in the eleventh over.
Yet still the runs came. Skipper changed tack again, turning to medium pace in the form of OC (1 for 28 off 7) and the Bard (0 for 18 off 3). They toiled away until, at last, after eleven more remorselessly unrewarded overs and as the Weekenders reached 134 for 2, OC sent down a bullet of a length ball, eliciting the mistimed shot. Up, up it went towards Silly mid-on – except we didn’t have a Silly mid-on, we had a man out at midwicket. The Racqueteers watched the ball lift into the burning sky, and watched it begin to fall, inevitably, into the gap – and then the Bard appeared, sprinting in. The catch was held and OC finally had his man.
The match now turned. We scented a draw, or even a win – we just needed more wickets. Rupe was the man for the moment. In the 26th over, with the Weekenders on 158, just 19 short of a win, he took out our own Shep (37, lbw), on loan to the opposition. Rupe immediately struck again, first tempting our own Olly forward (1, stumped), beating the edge and giving G his chance, and then finally clean-bowling their last batter (0), facing his first delivery. In all, “88” took four of our six wickets, including one with the last ball of his penultimate over and two in his final over, which was a wicket maiden.
The Weekenders had now used up all their time, if not quite all their batters, and the match ended as what you might call a winning draw. Winning in more than one sense: courtesy of Benno’s Emma, we have found very amiable and very equal opposition, in the Weekenders. We are already eagerly looking forward to our next fixture, next year.
The Racqueteers Cricket Club 